My Bye Bye Love Bag Needs to be CENSORED!

1/22/2014 07:23:00 PM




I dont know what to say about this bag.

FIRST:  Don't scroll down!  You will ruin the story.

WARNING!!  This bag is R-Rated. 

ALSO:  I don't want to use any "suggestive" words as I don't want that kind of web traffic so these words will be substituted with words that rhyme with said "bad word".

For those that don't know the "Bye Bye Love Bag", it's Sara Lawson's (from Sew Sweetness) January bag for the Bag of the Month Club, and it's really a nice large cute bag and she did hers in some adorable strawberry print. I chose a lovely linen, by Anna Maria Horner. I have been hoarding this fabric for the "right" bag and knew/thought this was IT.  Perhaps I should have thought a bit more....  Oh this bag has made me laugh, sigh, cry, and raise my eyebrows - more than once.

I am not going to write a huge story... but just get right into it.  ahem.

Here is a photo of the pretty butterflies on the back of the bag. I decided to opt out of the zipper pocket because I wanted to show the full butterflies in all of their... glory. Nothing wrong with that, I think the back looks great! Nothing to see here, move on...


I made up the front and the back pieces of the bags with no problems.  Although I skipped the recommended byAnnie's Soft and Stable in the pockets. With the added leather, all of the layers were too thick and I ended up hand stitching the pockets onto the front of the bag. It was slightly tedious.

Here is the pocket I finished first. What do you see?


My first thoughts:
DOOBS!  (ryhming word)  Oh my, there are big droopy orange "DOOBS" on my bag.
I send a quick text to Sheila and Carloyne that went something like this:

Me:  There are doobs on my pocket.
Sheila: Where, I don't see them.  Are you "corny" or something?
Me: NO!  They are right there, big orange "doobs"!
Thoughts: Is there something wrong with me? Is my mind in the gutter?
Sheila: Your mind is in the gutter.
Me: NO!
Finally Carolyne: WTH is that?
Me: See, I told you!

But then I looked at it again. My mind WAS in the gutter.  I saw more. Look at the pocket? There are knees and bums and "splotches" and, they look all stacked up. OMG there is a massive "Porgy" on my pocket!

Me: There is more, there is a porgy on my pocket.
Sheila: My daughter says there are nasty websites for people like you! lol!

Moving on. I kept going. Sheila reminded me the pocket flap would cover the doobs.
I did the other pocket, and it was not as bad, but still not "optimal". There is a suggestive bit, I suppose, but luckily it is hidden in the pleat. ?



I was wondering though, am I just seeing things now, because I am traumatized by the first pocket?  Is this like an ink blot test, and if so, am I passing or failing? I added the magnetic snaps, that seemed to help distract the blatant parts a bit.

So I spent the evening hand stitching on these ink blot butterflies. I decided, I was going to finish this bag anyway! Yes, I was.

In the morning, I cut out the pocket flaps and tried to use the most abstract pieces of fabric as I could. I do so love the colours of this fabric, and I decided that my gutter mind was not going to wreck it for me.

Until I saw THIS:

Click to Enlarge.
Tell me you see THAT.

More messages:
So I just sent Sheila that picture only, no words to accompany and she replied:
Sheila: You must have been really perverted when you cut that fabric! lol
Me: There is a "weenis" on my bag.
Sheila: I couldn't help but notice that.
Thoughts: HA! My mind is not in the gutter.

So, end of story, I made up these photos and sent them to my husband and he says:
Husband: I don't see it!
Me: You don't see it? Are you kidding me?
Husband: Sorry babe I think you have a dirty mind!

Okay then, moving on.

Here is the completed bag, it's very serious and very proper, very proper indeed! I have used a lovely linen and complementing leather trim. 



I am debuting one of my new metal bag labels today, isn't it perfectly lovely and proper! It says Handcrafted, Made in Canada and YES, I do have ones that say Handcrafted, Made in the USA, and they will be arriving next week. I have literally been waiting for them to get made for months. 



Oh, why the crying?  I broke my sewing machine sewing the bottom of this bag. My new sewing machine. I should have cut out the Soft and stable out of the seam, I really don't know what I was thinking. I will take it to get repaired on Friday and Mr. Repair Guy, will likely say "What did you do this time?"

This is my bag. These are my photos. There is nothing to see here, move on.



  Janelle

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36 comments

  1. love the fabric choice and that color leather is beautiful with it. LOL about the pockets. You are too funny. I have a dress with this fabric and now I am going to laugh everytime I wear it :) Great job.

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  2. Hilarious and horrible. And it is a beautiful print no matter what. I once had to make a seam lower on a pair of pants because of a questionably placed edge of the design on the fabric, so I feel your pain. This is why I'm now compulsive about checking the placement of my pattern pieces. LOL.

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  3. You made me laugh so loud while reading this that my whole family is looking at me like I'm crazy! Thank you for that. I haven't made my bag yet because of the time but I do have the fabrics picked out and am looking forward to getting started (hopefully before the next pattern is out). Also, I am emailing you a couple questions regarding your bag hardware, so if you could be on the lookout? :) Thanks!

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  4. Hahahaha! Honestly though, I think it looks fine. Beautiful actually! The leather and the fabric work so great together!

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  5. What a beautiful "porgy" bag! I would carry it proudly. Thank you for the giggle and the reminder that sometimes a butterfly is not 'just' a butterfly!!

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  6. Love your story. I have not made mine yet but will be very careful with chosing the fabric!

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  7. Thank you - I needed a good giggle tonight and you have provided just the thing - For the record if you are not looking for dirty you only see a stunningly beautiful bag that I can't believe is hand made. The leather trim is amazing and I love that butterfly linen too (don't have any stashed unfortunately).

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  8. 2 things... 1. bet the traffic to this post will go through the roof, the censored heading and pixels certainly grab the attention. 2. I'd still use the bag anyway, and if anyone comments put them on the spot and have them explain it in detail to you! let them feel the embarrassment if there is any! looks fantastic anyway, and your new bag bling is brilliant! great job and don't worry about it!

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  9. HAHAHAHA Janelle!!! I did not see the ''boobs'', I find it looks like a pretty butterfly.... BUT I do see the ''weenis'' HAHAHA too funny!! :)

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  10. If I didn't already love the bag, the story would have absolutely sealed the deal. Projects are always a gazillion times better with a good bit of oops humor attached. :) I'd carry that bag proudly. :)

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  11. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I suppose we can all learn from this about prints and cutting and could they look like something else once sewn. I got such a chuckle out of reading your story. Maybe you should hang this bag in your sewing room to remind you about choosing fabrics and sewing thick seams too. You could hold a lot of your sewing supplies in this "weenis" bag, lol!!! I made this bag too and had flowers in the pleated area that didn't show as pretty once they were pleated. I thought those pleats would have been better in a solid fabric. Oh well live and learn, right? I'll bet this posting will give Sara a giggle too.

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  12. You are so funny!! I did see the "parts" but I don't think it's too bad. You can use it proudly. And if you see someone staring and smiling...hey you made someone's day!! People should laugh more. :-D I once made a bag where I could see some panties. After you see it you can't stop seeing it. The new metal bag label is great.

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  13. Comedy Gold!! I really needed a good story today :) Your bag rocks Janelle! xoxo Cindy

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  14. OMG!!! This was hilarious!!! Fussy cutting gone wild!!! HA HA HA HA I so love this bag and the fabric you selected. It is amazing. I would carry it in a heartbeat. I thought at first, "why is she blurring out the bag?"...then your comment intrigued me (Don't scroll down...) so I didn't and I kept reading. I'll admit my mind IS in the gutter but I honestly didn't feel the "boob"erfly pockets were bad one bit...UNTIL I saw the "weenis"..LOLOL Okay you got me there!! I was crying while reading this. You have made my day. I don't think anyone would notice unless you point it out (hopefully). Beautiful bag!!

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  15. OMG too funny! I do see it all plus the right pocket looks like a butt print! Guess my mind is in the gutter too :) . Can't wait for the new labels, i want them!

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  16. When I am not giggling at your humorous, and informative, post, I am turning shades green with envy, at your skill at bag making your gorgeous bag! It is truly ONE of A KIND !
    And I would use it proudly, and giggle everytime I looked at it!
    Susie

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  17. I checked some blogs last night before going to bed and your story had me laughing out loud! I think your bag is lovely and I would use it proudly!

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  18. Lollll this made me laugh, thank you. I love the bag too!

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  19. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLl I nearly peed myself laughing. Guess I have a dirty mind too because I saw it straight away LOLLL I've yet to make mine but you can be sure it will be in plain fabrics LOLLL

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  20. OMG! I just died reading this!!! First of all your bag is beautiful !!! I love it! Secondly, I would have never seen all those bits until you pointed them out, but yes, now I totally see them all. This is the best bag ever! It can be your own rendition of celebrating the human figure...maybe you can be the next Georgia O'Keefe :)

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  21. Oh Janelle, that was my belly laugh for the day!!!!!!!! Love it!!!!! You are too funny. And your bag is STILL fabulous!

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  22. This was the BEST story EVER! Love LOVE LOVE it so much! Use that bag with PRIDE! Thank you for this.
    Hope the sewing machine survives, although I don't doubt it walking funny after all that!

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  23. oh my! I had a good laugh! I did see all that you saw but if you hadn't mentioned I'd probably only notice the weenis.. maybe.. thanks for the smiles!

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  24. The Bag is Fabulous! The Belly Laugh was just what I needed.

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  25. Some project just don't turn out as planned. Who knew pretty little butterflies could turn into all that...maybe a solid next time. LOL

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  26. I had an old aunt, who used to brazen her way through life by pretending that she didn't notice things like runs in her stockings, or a stain on her blouse (and she was a senior manager in an insurance company). I think you need to do the same thing.
    If any one says anything to you, the proper response is "I never noticed".
    I love you new bag labels...I want some!

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  27. You had me ROFLOL! If you had not pointed these little imperfections in your fabulous bag,I for one would not have noticed. Did you design your labels,would love to know where you get them.

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  28. Oh...how I needed that laugh! Thank you...thank you! And yes, I see it. :) Love those metal labels. I'm just getting started in bag making and trying to start a business and I have been thinking about those labels for a while. It's nice to see how they look on a bag. How do you attach them? Your bag IS lovely, by the way. I'd love to get into leather, but think it would kill my cheap machine. Going to try faux..maybe. :)

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  29. Okay, I love this post! I am totally in the gutter though...I see a couple baginas. Lord!! Gotta tell ya though- I showed my mom & she said she would love a bagina doob and wenis bag because she'd get so much attention. She says she'd pay good money to walk around with it and pretend she has no idea what people are talking about! She said she'd even act offended if anyone mentioned it. I think you should sell it for hundreds of dollars. :) great post!

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  30. Ok, admit it: you're running a mass Rorschach test for all blog readers, don't you? Well... I also did not see any doobs, but the weenis - what does that say about me, I wonder?

    I'm sorry to say that, but you made my day!!! Such a funny story, but I can understand resp. imagine how shocked you were when all those butterflies transformed (well, are these butterfly-transformers or is it a true story of metamorphosis??) into doobs etc.

    :)

    I like your bag, it's as beautiful as all the others here on your website!

    Greetings from Germany,
    Gabriele

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  31. Oh my, I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants. Great blog. Bag is actually very lovely, just has a bit of titillation!

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  32. Oh my, I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants. Great blog. Bag is actually very lovely, just has a bit of titillation!

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  33. This has been a hilarious read but I must confess that I saw a porgy on the back before I saw the butterflies. Made me wonder what I was going to see further down, if there was nothing to see there... What can I say? Thanks for the laughter!

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  34. OMG I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee myself reading the adventures of the perverted bag LOL

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  35. Hysterical,but sad too! It definitely doesn't look like Butterflies!!!

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